this just has baby written all over it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
