My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize