shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
