Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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