he quoted the bible to break up with me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
