I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
