Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
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