so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
