I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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