Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize