hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
