Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
