I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
