i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
two words: eviction party
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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