it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
