I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
