physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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