one might say we're banned from that church
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
