Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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