Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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