How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
