I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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