what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
