i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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