I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
