Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Randomize
