So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
