what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
