I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
