It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if only i could text you this smell
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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