Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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