hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
