He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Also, beer. Big fan.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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