while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
