I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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