bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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