i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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