How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
