I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Is it because I queefed?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
