Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
