Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
