THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize