and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
