You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
