I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
