laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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