i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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