I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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