When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
try to milk me bitch
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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