Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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