My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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