38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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