If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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