Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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