you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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