That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
