it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
