You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
